P[e]NORAMA

 

 

What better way to remember the past year, than to review the words that dripped out of my pen? Friends, let me share with you some of my FB shout outs in 2010. Just like in last year’s edition, please let this be my humble way of thanking you for sharing with me your time and friendship. Thank you for the opportunity to appreciate life with you, the friendship.

Xoxo —Sherma E. Benosa

 

 

 

Was finalizing my research questions for my language education study when suddenly, VF blurted out: “Will I ever have a tranquil life with you?” I looked up from my computer screen to consider his question and replied: “Are you suggesting that as a research question?”

//SEB, April 17 at 10:41pm

 

 

[Continuation] Just then, a malicious smile touched my lips. I counter-asked him: “Do you really want a tranquil life, or a life with me?”

//SEB, April 18 at 3:43pm

 

 

Thanks to me, VF’s vocabulary greatly improved during the past four years. Now, he knows the meaning of the following: raket, tsika, eklavu, okray, dyowa, girlalu, nenok, dedma, badinger, whatev, twitams, dabarkad, and the like. He is also updated with the newly-acquired meanings of the following words: ganda, taray, mahaba ang buhok, etc. I listen to him use these words when it suits him and I smile.

//SEB, April 22 at 12:03pm

 

 

I never liked political campaign periods. It’s when trash becomes so fashionable. But then, in our part of the world, kelan ba naman naging hindi?

April 27 at 9:51am

 

 

Our tragedy is not that we are poor. Or that we have corrupt politicians. Our tragedy is that we never learn from our experiences and that we are always attracted by glitter than gold.

[My reaction to Erap winning the second spot in the presidential race]

May 11 at 11:13pm

 

 

I have come to learn — finally — that I have a better chance of beating Time if I travel by its side instead of trying to overtake it (for it’ll never let me) and that I will reach my destination faster if I slow down a little.

//SEB, May 19 at 6:42am

 

 

Between the things I know and the things I don’t know are lessons to learn and opportunities of learning.

//SEB, May 31 at 11:21pm

 

 

Mosses for me are a sign of stagnation, of being in one place too long that one accumulated only the things that came one’s way. If I were a stone, I think I would want to be moss-free, to be rolling whenever I feel like it. I see myself as very rough at the start but would become smoother and smoother as I roll along unpaved highways and swim with or against the flow of life’s rivers.

//SEB, A paragraph in my essay, “The Rolling Stone” first posted in iluko.com then in my personal blogs (http://bilingualpen.com/brainteaser; http://brainteaser.wordpress.com)

Re-posted at FB in July

 

 

The road may be rough, but the view is nice. And every curb holds surprises.

I walk for these surprises and for what may be at the end of the journey, for the people walking with me, and those who I may meet along the way.

My life is a worthwhile journey.

//SEB, August 17 at 12:50pm

 

 

“OR” is such a lovely word. It presents options. But it can also mean limitation, like when it is used where “AND” would be better. Sometimes we see life as “this OR the other,” even in instances when we should take it as “this AND the other(s)” or “some of this AND a little bit of the other(s).”

//SEB, August 27 at 9:28pm

 

 

ONLY WHEN

 

Let’s not walk through this road, forgetting

 

That only when we let trust stay afloat

Will we be able to drown our cloak of doubt.

 

Dreams don’t soar in our sleep;

Only when we are wide awake

Are we able to give them wings.

 

And only when our courage learns to fly

Are we able to crash our fears.

 

Let’s walk through this road, remembering.

 

//SEB; April 1, 2008

 Reposted in FB on August 30 at 5:48am

 

 

The day sky is always blue; and the night sky, sparkling with stars. The skies never turn gray — it’s just the dark, stormy clouds that do.

 

When things seem so dark you can’t see clearly, remember it may just be the clouds hiding the blue sky (or the stars) from your view.

//SEB, September 3 at 6:35am

 

 

I looked back as I was running as fast as I could, expecting to find Time behind me, struggling to keep up, only to learn that he has gone far ahead.

 

I slowed down to a jog, then to a brisk walk, and then to a leisurely one.

 

I looked far ahead, expecting Time to have outrun me for miles. What a surpise it was to find him walking beside me, sometimes, even lagging behind.

 

//SEB, 05 September 2010; 8:20pm

September 5 at 8:20pm

 

 

Life is not a see-saw; you need not bring others down for you to go up.

//SEB; 08 September 2010 08:16pm

 

 

Life is a weighing scale, one that is sometimes (if not often) tipped.

//SEB; 08 September 2010 08:18pm

 

 

‘What if’ is such a sad phrase when applied to the past; it suggests regrets and ‘could-have-beens.’ But it can be a power phrase when applied to the future. It offers endless possibilities and countless options.

//SEB, 06 Sept 2010; 7:12am

 

 

I love flying. It’s the only time when I need not look up to watch the clouds, when I am closest to the heavenly bodies, and the tall mountains are anything but formidable.

It’s just like being in a dream.

And just like dreams, this too has to end. The plane descends and normalcy is restored again.

[SEB; Thoughts while flying back to Manila, 27 Sept 2010]

 

 

I love flying. It’s when I look down to watch the clouds and the tall mountains that I am best reminded how little I am.

 [SEB; Thoughts while flying back to Manila, 27 Sept 2010]

 

 

 

[Please check out last year's edition here. Thank you.]

 

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I saw this comment in my ”trash” files. I no longer remember exactly why I drafted this, but I think it was supposed to be my reaction to a post which talked about socio-political poems versus emotional poems. I think, the blog post was saying that poems that focus on the emotion are less good/important compared with sociopolitical ones.

 

Anyway, because I failed to post this as a comment on that post (I no longer remember for what blog), I thought of posting it here. And because it is an unfinished draft, there is no date stamp (I usually put the time I finished writing an article in my files). My computer says though that the file was created on Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 1:36:20 AM).

 

 

I wouldn’t say socio-political poems are preferable to or higher than emotional poems. I also don’t think that a poet’s only role is to expose the evils of oppression, corruption, and other malignancies in the society to which he belongs; nor will I say that he who focuses on socio-political issues is better than he who writes poems that focus on the emotion.

 

Human beings are multi-faceted. They are as affected by the things that happen around them as they are moved by the struggles within them — by the pains and challenges that their environment and political systems throw at them, and by the wars that rage from the depths of their very souls.

 

Their multi-faceted nature makes humans require many needs — social, political, psychological, physiological, emotional, mental, economic, and so on — not one of which is higher or lower than the others.

 

The socio-political poet is as open as the romanticist poet; the only difference is that their eyes are focused on different things, and even if they look at the same thing, they process them differently.

 

To say that the poet has failed in his duty because he doesn’t write about socio-political issues is to say that these external struggles are the only real things that the poet experiences. That is not the case. Our plights are both external and internal. Our struggles are not only political and social in nature but also emotional, mental and psychological. Emotional roller coasters are as real as political and social oppressions.

 

Stringing words that dive into the deepest recesses of our being and paint rainbows in the sky is as noble as raising our rebellious arms through our pen. After all, just as humans need to talk about the social events that happen around him, they also need to recognize the great feelings that drive them, and haunt them.

 

 //Sherma E. Benosa

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Letters

Fill the sheet.

 

I read the words

But find no message:

 

I see only the misplaced question marks

And the oversized period.

 

 

I read not the words

But the gaps between them

 

Mirroring how

You stare at me sometimes:

 

Blank, yet undevoid of meaning.

Full in its emptiness.

 

 

Finally, I understand

What you’re trying to tell me:

 

You’re still here

But already gone.

 

I stare stupidly at the question marks

And curse the period.

  

 

Sherma E. Benosa

February 26, 2009; 8:45am

 

 

Help me see beyond the Fraus

That has come to live in you.

 

Show me how to look beyond

The tempest it has made you become.

 

Teach me to look not at

The destruction it has made you wreak

 

But at the torch you patiently held in the olden days

For me to come to where I now stand.

 

 

Remind me you used to be the compass

That showed me where North was —

 

The rudder and sail of my ship

As it traversed many a turbulent seas.

 

Because now I am beginning to forget;

Because now, I am hopelessly

Inebriated in your lies’ putrid breath —

 

Masterfully camouflaged, artfully disguised

In what I now see as phony smiles.

 

 

Pray I’ll remember that in everyone

There lie remnants of Achilles’ heels

 

Pray I’ll learn not to be like Paris

That I may not shoot you in your weakness.

 

Pray I’ll remember, it’s not condemnation

But a torch and a guiding hand that you need.

 

So you could re-discover where North is.

So you could find the strength to kill

The Fraus that has lodged itself in your heart.

 

.

 

Sherma E. Benosa

February 15, 2009; 2:07pm

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Like other bloggers who have been blogging for sometime, I also sometimes blurt out words in my posts that seem to carry with them a tinge of wisdom.

That is not to say I am wise, though; oh no. But I do recognize that there have been moments that my fingers type things that I would have sworn I had nothing to do with had I not known they came from inside of me, like whispered thoughts.

I am sharing some of them here. I hope you find some truth in them.

I would never claim originality of the thoughts, as I am aware some of them may reflect some wisdom that may have been around since time immemorial. I claim originality of the words though, as they have flowed out not just from my mind, but my heart as well.

Here we go:

;

(more…)

Warning: This post gives a glimpse into the void inside of me. Read at your own risk.

 

Down is how I feel right now. The love of my life has been sick for more than a year now… yet the doctors still don’t have a clear diagnosis of what’s ailing him. Just a pulse rate that is too fast and a bp that is too low.

 

Things would be much better if we weren’t continents apart. At least I would be there for him. At least we would be together — physically — instead of being together only through the internet.

 

Sure, we’re getting by. We spend at least 10 hours a day burning our internet connection, so in some ways we  are together, except that we cannot hold each other’s hand. But this week, even the pleasure of being with him daily has been taken away from me.

 

He is at the hospital right now, and he will stay there for a week. It’s just his third day away and already I am feeling so helpless and down…

 

down…

 

down…

 

I feel like crying, but I don’t want to. He said he needs me to be very strong, and strong I will be. For him. For me.

 

But he didn’t say I cannot write him a poem. So I try, but I can’t. He is my poetry. My pen refuses to budge because he’s not with me.

 

So I’m down, but I don’t want depression to get me. I’m gonna do something, even if it means I have to cheat. I’m gonna  post something I’ve written before… when we were in the same situation… After all, it is as much my poem now as it was then.

 

(more…)

There’s something about poetry that tugs at my heart. The metaphors sing to me, beckoning me to fly to a floating realm. They make the sun smile, the moon flirt, and the wind whisper sweet nothings. They give dreams their powerful wings, let hope soar, and allow peace to descend.

 

Of all forms of literature, poetry is the most magical. Reading poetry is like being invited by a dear friend into his being. It gives us a glimpse of the gem inside the poet’s soul, and allows us a precious peek into the void within, at the dreams that strengthen the spirit, the fears that wouldn’t show their face, and the angst that are struggling to come out.

 

In this post, I would like to share with you some magical moments, by sharing with you some of the best poems I’ve stumbled into in the blogosphere. May these poems touch you as they touched me. My only request is that you’d also share a poem that touched you in a special way.

 

Corazon Quaimas’ You and I

I love the wordplay and the imagery in this poem. I couldn’t say though, that this is the poet’s best, simply because he has lots of poems that I love. Especially his Ilokano ones. A master of minimalism, he writes poems that pulsate!

 

Sarah Flanigan’s Sense of Small 

I don’t exactly know what she was thinking when she wrote this, but I am reading her post as a poem on humility, on being awed at something that’s grand, and bowing to a great being. Of course, my interpretation could be far from what she had in mind, and from your own interpretation, but who is to say I’m wrong?

 

Tomachfive’s Refreshing the Window

I love the analogy and wordplay in this poem. It can be interpreted in so many ways. It says something about our relationships, about how we deal with life, and so on. That’s what makes it so especial.

 

Delfin Ballo Jr.’s Closure.

This poem, I stumbled upon just last week. I was searching for English poems by Filipinos, and I got through the Pinoy Poets site. I haven’t read everything in the site yet, because this one made me stop. I read it again and again, loving it more each time.

 

So, those are the four poems from poets I’ve come across in the blogosphere. Now, here are some poems from two of my good friends.

 

Salve’s An Island

Here’s a poem that made me question the kind of a friend I am. Salve has been my friend since our university days, but it was only last year that I learned she writes good poetry. Good thing she blogged it. I would have never known! Argh! I’m such a lousy, lousy friend! (At least, I appreciate her poetry!   )

 

Armine’s Void

This is a very sad poem, it broke my heart. I never got over it. But it’s very beautiful. It transported me to a different plane, and made me feel I was the void that caused her ruin. Powerful!

 

 

Now, it’s your turn to share. What’s on your list?

 

 

[PS: Like My Favorite Blog Posts post, this is also going to be a work in progress. There are other poems I have read that I will need to re-discover. I will be adding to my lists as we go along.]