A relative who prides herself with a strange ability
Procrastination is her claim to fame and notoriety
Claiming that such a practice helped her longevity
Her very existence on earth, her wealth, her legacy.

Her track record speaks for itself and so much more
She graduated from High School when she turned 24
Landed her first real job at 35 and married late at 44
Her first kid came at 43; she became widowed at 54.

That’s when Simeon, her husband suffered from a fall
At twenty stories he came tumbling down like a ball
She buried him a week later, no, after a month I recall
The grave diggers went on strike, all going on the dole.

That she dragged her feet would be an understatement
With her second child, labor pains became permanent
She groaned, moaned, quoting even the Old Testament
But at long last the child was born; she named him Brent.

They celebrated the prolonged birthing with a blow out
Simeon hired a caterer; she was good without any doubt
The caterer stole the choice parts; it was indeed a rout
The tenderloin, tripes, the bile and brains all went south.

When she finally died, lying in state they opened her will
It said bury me not immediately  – but please wait until
So they waited, and waited, to this day her body is still
In the cryo-generator, frozen stiff, she does fit the bill.